It's that time of year again; the smell of freshly mowed grass, the warmth of sunlight beating your face, the annual excuse that our outfielder twisted his ankle rock climbing and will be out for the better part of April.
Yes folks, Modsquad softball is back.
For those of you who don't remember, the team won it's first ever championship last season, and went on to not celebrate at it's annual awards banquet at Tres Jalapenos.
For those of you who don't know everyone on the Modsquad, let me introduce you to a fine group of ballplayers....
...with the help from our newest addition to the Modsquad Softball Journalism team, Charlie Sheen and his quote machine.
"You got a cup? I got nothin' to hide." - Todd Dias, OF
Amid allegations that his 2009 team leading home run total were steroid induced, the Modsquad outfielder successfully passed a self administered drug test in 2010, but mysteriously saw his power numbers fall back to earth.
"I finally extracted myself from their troll hole." - Bruce Lin, OF
After smashing a career high .531 batting average, Lin took his ball and glove and headed west to California, never to officially appear in a 2010 Modsquad game. He was with us in spirit and many a beer were toasted to his name.
"I will send a fastball into the cyber hole." - Big Joel, P
Big Joel dominated batters throughout 2010, not letting up an earned run until the third game of the season. Big Joel also batted .615 and drove in 20 runs, tied for third on the team.
"We had a saying that the fun stops at one." - Pete Sedlmair, Utility
Sedlmair, the team's super utility player, collected exactly one hit on the season. He even showed up late to that at-bat.
"My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math." - Mike Lima, Chris Lima's Brother
Little Lima came out of retirement in 2010 to play in one game where he went 3-3, sporting a 1.000 Batting Average. He quickly re-retired at the end of the game.
"I was cured in the blink of an eye." - Eric Klein, 3B
Notorious for his on the field injuries, Klein managed to bat .500 last season despite missing 5 games out of sheer fear.
"I don't live in the middle anymore. That's where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen." - John Leahy, 2B
Leahy batted .476 throughout the 2010 campaign, but come playoff time, he abdicated his throne at middle infield to Frank Vitale.
"Duh? Winning!" - Alfrin Vallejo, OF
His response to his wife's question, "Where were you for the last hour? I sent you out to pick up diapers?"
"If you try it once, your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." - Chris Iannantuoni, OF
Iannantuoni is famous for his consumption of Black Jelly Beans in between innings. They're gross, but if it helps him bat .763 again next season....
"Can I have one part of my life that isn't TMZ'd up the butt?" - Kristen Lima, Superfan/Scorekeeper/Photographer
After spending most of the season behind a lens, Kristen found herself being followed but videographers and photographers on a regular basis. Might have something to do with the fact that she married the Left Fielder.
"You can't process me with a normal brain." - Chris Lima, OF
And neither could his teammates after his 2010 on-the-field-meltdown against Jackson Lewis that saw him act like a five year old holding his breath in the candy aisle.
"I'm tired of pretending I'm not a rock star from Mars." Scott Berns, 1B
Berns batted .688 and anchored the infield in the championship game all while finding himself in the middle of editing a little document known at TIOP III. Hey, no big deal, it's just rock star stuff.
"I've spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold." - Frank Vitale, 2B
The Director of the Audio Visual Department batted .410, played stellar defense, wrote an eBook, secretly conquered Canada, dressed up like Saint Nicholas, and led thought provoking conversation at the lunch table. Rumors are currently swirling that he's attempting to buy the team....
"Everything. Next question." - Nick DiFranza, SS
Everything. That's what DiFranza hit in 2010. DiFranza led the team in the power categories; 7 HR, 28 RBI, and 5 2B. He was the 2010 Regular Season MVP. DiFranza was able to amass such numbers despite the fact that he was on the DL for the beginning part of the season.
"I use a blender. I use a vacuum cleaner." - Kyle Bobek, C
That was Bobek's response when asked what he used to pump his batting average up to .500 ('10 Season) from .375 ('09 Season). Bobek collected 8 more hits in 2010 and tripled his RBI total from 2009.
"I'm bi-winning. I win here, and I win there." - Alan Brogdon, Skipper
Brodgon was credited for multiple wins as a coach this season, whether he was on the field or not. Managing from his Blackberry as his wife was delivering their second child, Brogdon guided the Squad to it's first ever championship in 2010.
"How I deliver things is so perfect and truthful and radical and so in your face that it grabs your teeth and shoves them so far down your throat that you go, 'Wow, what a lovely little snack.'" - Rebecca Smith, Superfan
Thanks again for the beer and snacks in 2010. Looking forward to a great 2011!
Anonymous Said,
I BELIEVE SOMEONE HAS BEEN LEFT OUT DO I HAVE TO MENTION WHO IT IS OR IS THIS PERSON A FORGOTTEN MEMORY .I BELIEVE HE'S ONE OF THE OTHER PLAYER COACHES OR HAS IT SLIPPED PEOPLES MINDS.
Posted on April 6, 2011 at 12:11 PM
#22 Said,
Sorry Robert, I ran out of Charlie Sheen quotes and missed a couple of guys on the team.
Posted on April 6, 2011 at 12:16 PM