By Chris LimaModsquad Reporter
A time honored and beloved baseball tradition known as the "Kangaroo Court" has always been a way for players to police each others antics or on the field mishaps through a series of fines.
Kangaroo Court was in session last night (at the Chili's Courtroom in Nanuet) for the Modsquad, with the Honorable Superfan Kristen Bladel residing over the trial. Bladel broke down each player's infraction and fines they will inevitable wind up not paying;
Chris Iannantuoni: Fined $25 for missing the first game with swine flu like symptoms, when in reality, it was an upset stomach due to ingesting too many black licorice pieces.
Eric Klein: Fined $14.95 (cost of the medic kit) for constantly bleeding all over everything.
Bruce Lin: Fined 30 cents for offseason steroid allegations which proved to be inaccurate. He
was taking HGH.Chris Lima: Fined $30 for "hot-dogging" it in the outfield during the last Modsquad game. Lima dropped a fly ball that would have been an easy play for a two year old.
Scott Berns: Fined $15 for being "too awesome". We couldn't think of anything he's done wrong so far.
Rob Lucas: Fined $250 to cover the cost of team x-rays performed on players, who were on the receiving end of a Rob Lucas "hi-five". Rumors are circulating that certain Modsquad players are getting out on purpose, so that they don't receive Lucas' earth shattering "way-to-gos" and "at-a-boys".
Alfrin Vallejo and Coach Bobby: Fined $175 (total) or the cost that was incurred for a photoshop freelancer to remove the Mets hats they were wearing in the team photo.
Pete Coletta: Fined $75 per over-the-top fist thrust after each strike out. Seriously, the Joba Chamberlain like behavior will inevitably cause one of our player to get killed.
Frank Vitale: Fined $14.95 for last season's use of gardening gloves in place of batting gloves. The money will be returned under the stipulation that it be put towards purchasing new batter gloves.
Coach Brogdon: Fined $100 for improper scouting reports collected on JH Cohen. His exact email read: By the way, according to the league guy, this team is pretty damn good. Final score: 18-1.Kyle Bobek: Fined twice, once for $7 and the second time for $33.
Todd Dias: Will be fined $5.50 each time an email is sent to any Modsquad reporter, asking for clarification of statistics. Additionally, Dias will be fined $7.35 each time said email has links to Wikipedia articles, ones which explain the proper way to score a ballgame.
#4 Said,
but they taste so good!
Posted on May 22, 2009 at 9:28 AM
#1 Said,
Are the fines retroactive or only assessed moving forward?
Posted on May 26, 2009 at 6:51 AM
#22 Said,
I'm hoping she makes them retroactive, that way with your fines, I'll be able to retire at the age of 26.
Posted on May 26, 2009 at 6:53 AM
Flashley Said,
Please tell me Kristen was wearing a powdered wig...and who got to play bailiff?
Posted on May 27, 2009 at 6:55 AM
#0 Said,
this court is a travesty. i maintain that my power surge is due to good coaching and a diet of Flik cafeteria soups.
Posted on May 27, 2009 at 7:28 AM